The Devil's Own Read online

  Cal’s voice came again. “Now that you’ve found it, drop your shields and allow your energy to flow down that line.”

  He made it sound easy but when I tried to release them, they didn’t come down. I imagined taking them down, like dismantling a wall brick by brick, but nothing shifted. Afraid to lose that link with Torren in my mind, I kept that image of the brightly glowing thread behind my eyes and resorted to the only other thing I could think of. I begged.

  “Please, please let me help him.” My voice cracked at the end, but whatever I’d said seemed to work. Cal’s gasp told me that he could feel the release as my shields lowered and my connection to Torren glowed even brighter.

  “Now, Laney. Just share yourself with him, let it run down that link into his body.” Cal sounded sure this was the right thing to do, but I didn’t have his confidence. Humming a tune to myself, I imagined the melody blending with the light in front of me and filling Torren up. Shocked, I felt the connection we shared vibrate again, more solidly this time, and Tor shifted once more, his legs kicking out. I tried to pour more energy into the connection, scared I was doing something wrong, but Callum’s voice reached me. “That’s enough Laney. You can shut it down. It worked.”

  I pulled back, ending the song and relaxing back, my butt hitting the ground. Hands shaking, I looked at Callum, who gave me a quick, tired smile. “What song were you using?” he asked.

  “Just something Angus used to sing around the house when I was little.” I shrugged, startled by how tight my shoulders felt from that simple movement.

  “Oh,” he said. “Well, it was nice. And it was a good idea. I think he’s well enough that we can move him now.”

  Together, we managed to get Torren in the house, undressed and into his bed. I couldn’t miss seeing the bruises that had already appeared on his body but chose to focus on the fact that Cal was right. Torren did look better overall. I did my best to ignore the pull I felt between us anytime I got close to him, shelving it along with some other questions I had. Cal was focused on checking Torren for any internal injuries that required immediate attention. He didn’t need to be distracted by my desire for answers.

  Chapter Thirty·Two

  When I was certain that Torren was as comfortable as we could make him and there was nothing else I could do, I left Callum to his healing work and made my way to the basement. Bare fisted, I took out my anger on Bob and a couple of the heavy bags. I was a sweaty mess soon enough, my hair dripping into my eyes and making them sting. I took a break for a quick drink and to wipe my face clean. Ready for another round, I walked out to find Cal waiting for me.

  “You didn’t have to leave,” he said.

  I shook my head. “There wasn’t anything I could have done to help you with him, and I don’t like feeling useless. Down here, I’m out of the way. I can’t hurt anyone.”

  “Except yourself.” He looked pointedly at my knuckles, which were cracked and bleeding now.

  “A little blood, sweat, and tears never hurt anyone.” I tried for the half-hearted joke, but it sounded more pained than I wanted it to. “Well, blood and sweat, at least.”

  Callum came over to me, a warm cloth in his hands. He gently laid it over the cuts I’d made, making them sting. He held on even when I tried to pull away, and I felt the tickling sensation that told me he was healing them with the barest of skin contact. “Please don’t,” I said. “They’ll heal fine on their own.”

  He didn’t look up at me, his gaze on my busted knuckles. “Do you enjoy punishing yourself? Is this a human thing?”

  I pulled back, but he still didn’t let go. His eyes lifted to mine and there was an unmistakable challenge in them.

  “This isn’t about punishing myself. Or anyone else.” I didn’t hold back on the anger, letting it fill my voice. “This is about my life. About what a mess it’s become lately.”

  Cal didn’t flinch. He didn’t even react, beyond a slight brow raise. “A mess? I don’t see a mess.”

  “Oh really? Is this what you think passes for normal in someone’s life? Golems exploding and Proles hunting us down? People tied to me when they didn’t want to be?”

  Cal’s eyes flashed, shining in the dim light for a moment before the flare passed. “Oh, I see. You’re feeling sorry for yourself. I’ve read about this. In every romance novel Newton gave me the heroine has this moment. Let’s get it over with.”

  That pissed me off and I didn’t hold back. “Are you joking? I’m nothing like someone you’ve read about in any of your books. And I don’t appreciate you trying to compare me to them. I have every right to be angry when people force themselves into my life, which was perfectly fine before they showed up.”

  He nodded. “Yep, heroine has her life disrupted, her plans for the future are altered and she resents it. Pretty much like everything I’ve read.” His voice was hard and even, void of emotion.

  I opened my mouth to respond but realized he was right. I really was feeling sorry for myself. Angus and Uncle Newt would be disappointed in me if they could see this. My anger left me, and I slumped, drained and unsteady.

  “You’re right.” I leaned back against the wall, needing the support. “I hate to admit it, but Hells, you’re right.”

  He didn’t gloat, just joined me against the wall. “Good, I’m glad we got past that quickly. We’ve got things to prepare for and I need you focused on the problem in front of us.”

  “The problem being someone or something out there wants us dead.”

  He shook his head. “I don’t think that someone gives a damn about us. I think they’re after you. The rest of us are just in the way.”

  “Great. I’m going to get you killed”

  “No, you’re not. We’re going to find out what we’re up against, then we’re going to find a solution.”

  “And if we can’t find the answers?”

  “Then you’ll find I’m harder to kill than you think I am.” He leaned into me, his shoulder bumping mine in a friendly way.

  I snorted. “That really doesn’t make me feel better.”

  “Well it should. I’ve been through a lot and I’m still standing. Don’t count me out yet.” His voice was confident and coaxing. I couldn’t fight the grin I felt coming. If his plan had been to make me feel better, it had worked. A little, at least.

  “How’s Torren?” I asked. Might as well get to the first problem we had.

  Callum stilled but answered my question. “He’s okay. Stable for now. What you did out there gave him a fighting chance. We’ll have to see how he does. I managed to do some surface healing, but nothing too intense. His body’s defenses are on high alert right now. If I pushed too hard, they’d have focused on me instead of on fixing him.”

  That was as good as it was going to get for the moment. So, on to the next problem. “Can you explain something to me?”

  “I guess that depends on what the question is. I’ll do my best.” Cal’s voice was hesitant, but he said he’d try so I’d work with that.

  “Torren was bound to me so easily. But, when I wanted to help him, it was hard for me to find the connection and know how to use it. Why?”

  Callum pushed up away from the wall and turned to face me. “Binding can happen quickly or over time. It depends on the circumstances.”

  “Okay. Makes sense, I guess.”

  “Torren kissed you. Surprised you with it.”

  I nodded. “Yeah, so what? I know physical contact impacts a binding. That’s why I’ve tried so hard to avoid it.”

  “It’s not just physical contact, although that can spur the process along. Intentions matter. Desire matters.”

  “Are you saying that Torren wanted to be tied to me?”

  Cal stopped me. “No. I’m saying he felt a need to protect you, and that he wanted to kiss you. Put those things together with some intense physical contact when your shields came down, and that was it. He was bound.”

  “But
if it was that easy to bind him, why isn’t it just as easy to release him?” I needed the answer to this question. If there was a way to release him as soon as he was healed, I desperately wanted to be able to do that for him.

  “I told you, intentions matter. Both parties have to want the bond to be released. If they don’t, it’s a losing battle.”

  “But Torren wants to be free. He freaked out when we told him what happened. And I don’t want to keep him here against his will. I’ve never wanted anyone to be stuck with me.”

  Cal sighed. “You know relationships are never that easy, Laney. Once you have that history with someone, it’s hard to let go of them. It seems like there’s always a little part of you that holds on. Remembers the good times. The good feelings. This is just like that, but on a deeper scale.”

  “I don’t know, actually.” I tried to keep my voice controlled, but I could feel the hurt running underneath it. I was hoping he didn’t pick up on it.

  “What do you mean?” Cal asked, sounding genuinely confused.

  “Relationships. Like you said. I don’t really know anything about them or how they work.”

  “Wait a minute. What?”

  “I’ve been on one date in my life. You’ve already heard how that ended.”

  “Delaney look at me.” The command in his voice was obvious but he wasn’t trying to coerce me. He was just serious. I met his eyes and stopped trying to hide my discomfort. The look on his face was intent, focused solely on me.

  “You’ve never kissed someone without worrying about how they would be affected?” He was hesitant, almost like he was afraid he’d scare me off if he pressed too hard.

  I shrugged. “Well, the first time, I didn’t have any idea this could ever happen. After that, I tried to avoid physical contact with people in general. Angus is really the only guide I’ve had to this and even he doesn’t always understand how his gifts work within me. So, trial and error is my only option, and I’m not willing to risk hurting someone. With all of that, avoidance worked pretty well.”

  “Until Torren.” His calm understanding lifted a weight from me for a moment. “You’ve never had any intimate contact then. Beyond kissing.”

  An embarrassed heat flared through me, my skin blushing with it. I stepped away from him, my hands curling into fists. “If simply kissing someone causes this much trouble, I hardly think sex is a good idea.”

  He grinned a little wickedly for a moment, like he was considering the idea, then his jaw returned to its serious set. “I think for you, the problem is that you’ve never had the chance to experience any of this without always worrying that it could hurt someone. Imagine what it would be like if you could. If you could let go and enjoy yourself the way anyone else would, without trying to protect everyone.” The glint in his eyes turned mischievous. “Hells, you might find you really like it.”

  “Yeah, not going to happen. Apparently, I’m irresistible or something.”

  “Of that, I have no doubt.” Callum stepped closer. “What did your father tell you about me?”

  I narrowed my eyes at the question, which seemed out of place. “What do you mean? He said he sent you, that you were going to help protect me.”

  “Did he give you any reason for why he chose me to protect you? Instead of someone else?”

  I really didn’t understand where he was going with this. “He didn’t elaborate. Just said there are some secrets he wasn’t meant to tell. That when we had time, I should ask you directly.”

  “Did you ask him if there was any chance you could bind me?” He closed the distance between us a little more as I thought back to that conversation with Angus.

  The lack of space between us was making it hard for me to breathe. I tried to back away but his hand on my arm stopped me. “Did you ask him about binding me?” he questioned me again, his voice stronger, more determined for an answer.

  I cast around for the answer, trying to remember everything Angus had told me in that conversation. He’d refused to tell me what Callum was, where he came from or anything about his past. But when I pressed him, he had said there was only one way Cal could be bound to someone.

  “Yes,” I admitted. “I did ask him about that. Because if there was any possibility, I was going to ask him to send you away. I didn’t want to screw you up too.”

  “And since I’m still here, I assume he told you that you won’t be able to.”

  I nodded. “He said that could only happen if it was your choice.”

  A lazy smile slid over his face. “The Devil really is in the details, isn’t it?”

  Panic I didn’t understand rose up inside me, my stomach flipping. “What are you talking about?”

  “This is why Angus sent me here. Because you can’t bind me. But I can bind myself, if I want to.”

  Chapter Thirty·Three

  His fingers still on my arm, he raised his other hand slowly to my hair, pushing the sweaty strands back. The pleasure of a simple gesture like that shocked me. I tried to step away but found I couldn’t.

  His eyes flared in the dim light, and flames danced for a moment as I watched. Then he said, “I’m going to kiss you, Delaney. Because I can. And you don’t have to worry about anything happening to me that I won’t welcome. You can just enjoy it.”

  I opened my mouth to ask him to stop but his lips covered mine and I was lost in the feelings that roared up within me. He held me within the cage of his arms, strong but gentle at the same time. The taste of him was masculine and as he deepened the kiss, his soft lips pressing more firmly on mine, I relaxed into it, my eyes closing. Feelings rushed through me. I found myself struggling to keep my shields in place. It was so tempting to just give in and let them fall but I refused, unable to trust that it was safe.

  His fingers swept up the sensitive skin of my spine. Even over the cotton of my shirt, the electricity of his touch left me breathless. Tickling flickers raced underneath my skin and my temperature soared suddenly, making my head swim. My knees wavered but Cal held me up, not allowing a break in contact as he pressed on with his experiment. His tongue tasted my bottom lip. I groaned at the feel of it, sagging against him. He pushed the advantage, exploring my mouth further until I fought back, twining my tongue with his.

  His grip tightened around me in response, until there was no space separating us. We were pressed together, and I could feel the heat of his skin, radiating through his clothes and into me. I wanted to curl into that warmth.

  That brought me back to reality, and I broke away from the kiss, even though every cell in my body screamed at me to get back to it. He kept his arm locked around me, not allowing me an escape. We stood there, leaning against each other, our hearts hammering in time.

  “I’ve wanted to do that for a while.” A sweet smile drifted across his face as he asked, “So, what’d you think?”

  Stunned, my brain barely functioning, I tried to answer. “Wow,” I squeaked out.

  He laughed at my response and his happiness rumbled through me. Still pressed together, I could feel the thick weight of him hard against my leg. My excitement at the simple idea Cal could want me like that drove all other thoughts out of my head. I couldn’t come up with anything else to say.

  “Now that’s the kind of response a guy likes to get when he kisses someone.” He leaned in like he wanted to start the process again, but I pressed back in his arms, waving awkwardly between us.

  “And is this the response a girl hopes to get when she kisses someone back?”

  He laughed again, a wicked glint in his eyes. “Only when he really enjoys what’s happening.”

  I grinned back, enjoying the moment. “Good answer, I think.”

  “It is. Definitely.” He watched me, his face relaxed, his hands still gently skimming my back. “Did you feel your shields come down?” he asked.

  My breath stopped. I hadn’t noticed that at all. I’d been so used to keeping them in place all the time but sometim
e during the kiss, I’d lost track of everything except the heat between us.

  “Don’t panic. Your shields came down and I’m still here. Nothing bad happened.”

  His voice was reassuring, but I couldn’t help but worry. “Do you feel any different? Like you just have to be with me? Can’t stand the thought of being without me?”

  His body shook with laughter, as he answered. “Oh, I feel different right now. And yes, I absolutely want to be with you. Don’t like the thought of going without you at all. But I don’t think that has anything to do with your gift. I think I just like you.”

  I relaxed slightly at his teasing, realizing how inane my questions must have seemed. “Give me a chance here. My brain’s a little scrambled after what we did.”

  “Oh honey, if you’re shaken up by a kiss, just imagine how much more fun we could have.” I shivered at the promise of those words.

  I didn’t try to contain my laughter. “I think I need to read romance novels now, if that’s the kind of stuff it can teach me.” His answering chuckle washed away any awkwardness I might have felt so I moved on with the matters at hand. “Now that you’ve sufficiently distracted me, we should probably talk about what happened out there.”

  He nodded, stepping away so we could talk. I ignored the fact that my body was unhappy with the new distance between us and focused on the task at hand.

  “Do you know what a Golem is?” he asked.

  “I know what you said when we were fighting it. Specifically made, given one purpose, which tells me it was sent here to attack us. But I don’t understand who would have sent it.”